...in a mentality of redoing

The Harrowed

Sometimes a feeling passes through
And if it was too fleeting or too weak
I harvested its bones
   still slick with recent memory
   or time-polished and pulseless

Sometimes a feeling passes through
And if it ran I gave chase
   fingers glancing off wild flanks
   eyes dry or glazed with desperation
   my heart baying in my chest
Later I’ll walk, salvaging the pieces shorn
   to reach the verge of change

All lingering sentiment weathers here
Unfinished skeletons and locked teeth
   bitterness lying by bittersweet
   hunger beside half-asleep
The chaste and the sordid breeds of love,
    friendship, their mongrel offspring

I fashion caricatures of suffering and rapture
   crude beasts of jealousy and shame
   curled fingers of fear and anticipation
   the long throats of surprised and sensuous
Here’s a broken serenity, pieces from
   fury and wonder, the enduring
For a moment I might be gloried by
   the smiles of the bewitched and the joyous
For a moment I might be seized with
   violence born of loss or envy
My experiences are fragments of someone else’s

I strike down their unbodied forms
   unsorted jumbled devoid of articulation
But when my hands are gentled by nostalgia
   I will tidy these bones again, again

Sometimes a feeling passes over
but I do not follow it out

  1. veresyn posted this